Sunday, December 11, 2005

There is sad news today. ACLU-backed guerilla forces stormed the North Pole today. At least 250 elves were slaughtered and another 750 were taken hostage. The whereabouts of Santa Claus is unknown at this time. The ACLU has stated victory is near in their war on Xmas.

Relax, I’m kidding.

There is no war on Christmas or Xmas or Jesus’ birthday. It just isn’t happening. I really do not care what Bill O’Reilly or John Gibson try and tell you. There is no war on Christmas. So calm down, inhale and relax. It’s all going to be OK.

First let me rant about the idea that saying “Happy Holidays” is like slapping around Jesus. First off, holiday is derived from “Holy Day” so using the term holiday is really all that anti-religious. Also remember that there are multiple winter religious holidays such as; Hanukkah, Ramadan and Kwanzaa. It would be rude not to include everyone. It would also be time consuming to name them all. So using the good old stand by of “Happy Holidays” just makes sense. Plus people have been saying “Happy Holidays” for quite a while now. Why is there a problem with this phrase now? When I was a wee lad I remember people using the phrase and no one through a fit. So why is there all this fuss now? I think I know and I’ll get to that in a minute.

Please don’t give me Christmas or Christ is the reason for the season nonsense either. Do you know why Christmas is such a popular holiday? Is it religious significance? Well not totally, Easter is actually a holier day in Christianity than Christmas, if you want to split hairs. Plus most people can’t even get their butt in a pew on Christmas or it’s about the only day they do. So it’s not faith. What makes Christmas so important is gifts. I guarantee if you if people got stuff on Labor Day you’d see a lot more Labor Day parties. Also because merchants make so much of their profit off of Christmas they shove it down our throats. Heaven forbid they not have a merry wealthy season.

I find all this consumerism on Christmas a bit ironic. The only time Jesus ever showed rage in the Bible is when he chased the merchants out of the temple. So Christmas being so commercial strikes me as a bit odd.

Also let me get this in quickly. Xmas is not removing the Christ from Christmas. Xmas comes from the transliteration of the Greek word, ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ. This means Christ. The X in Xmas is the Greek letter chi, which is the first letter in Christ’s name in Greek. It is not an attempt to put an X on Jesus or remove him from the day. So have yourself a merry little Xmas and relax.

Have you ever heard a rabbit scream? I did once. A snake looking for sustenance was killing the rabbit. As the snake squeezed the life from the rabbit it made a horrible sound. The kind of thing you want to forget but can’t.

I think the Christian leaders so angry about the phrase “Happy Holidays” or gay marriage or a good many other things are a lot like that unlucky bunny. You see gentle reader; Christianity is a withering religion in a good part of the world. In my own church attendance is down about 30% of the last 10 years. People have moved to non-denominational faiths or new age faiths over the last several years. As these ministers see their flock leaving they scream like a scared rabbit. They’re terrified. What are they afraid of? They don’t want to lose the power they have. I personally could care less someone else believes. I could be the last Catholic and I wouldn’t care. But the ministers and pastors and such don’t want to lose their flocks. So they turn to that old-time religion stand-by, fear. Scare the flock and they will come back running.

Yes this explains those blowhards O’Reilly and Gibson to. They got to constantly tell you about this enemy or that enemy and then show how they are allegedly keeping you safe. But I’d sooner place my personal safety in the hands of some Mafia Don than anyone from Fox News. I’m odd like that.

So enjoy the season no matter what you celebrate. I believe it would be horribly offensive to Jesus to say anything else. So I bid you peace, love and understanding.


Post a Comment

<< Home