Have you ever said something about yourself, that you thought was quite normal, and had someone look at you like you have a third eye in your forehead? Sometimes they’ll even accuse you of being a liar. It maybe happens only to me for all I know. But it seems to happen a lot. Maybe I’m just a silly little freak. Anyway here’s my little list of thing about me that shock people for whatever reason.

I don’t drink. I have drunk in the past. I have drunk a lot in the past. I have drunk a bit too much in the past. I have drunk until my belly decided I’d had too much and returned it. I don’t drink anymore however. I just don’t like it. I don’t like hangovers or acting like a damn fool or the risks you take by drinking or the taste of it. So I just stopped. I came to the conclusion I was only drinking because other people around me were drinking so I put an end to it. Yet every time I tell someone I do not drink they look at me like I just told them I like to run around the house naked singing show tunes.

Why is drinking so accepted? I mean look at what drinking is really. You drink a liquid that lowers inhibitions and generally makes you way too emotional. You drink because your life sucks and you want to escape. You drink to cope with your day’s stress. Yeah this is what I want to do. I know I’m weird like this but I’d rather just cope stone sober with life’s little stresses and move on.

I’ve never smoked a cigarette or a joint or did any drugs. I’m serious. I just never wanted to do any of this. So I did not. Plus I saw what smoking did to people in my family and decided that wasn’t the road for me. So no tobacco for me thanks. I always found people who were high rather annoying. So again I decided to avoid being like them. I’m anti-social like that.

I don’t like cologne. It just smells like wet animals or it has that awful harsh almost acidic smell to it. I just don’t like it. One salesperson insinuated that my lack of cologne was the reason for my lack of a woman. I shall assume she wasn’t a really good salesperson.

I don’t find Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson attractive. Paris is way too skinny and has a face like the ass end of a dolphin. Simpson is physically OK but so dumb and so bereft of talent it makes my head hurt. A pretty face isn’t enough. Substance always is superior to flash.

I don’t own a cell phone. I’ve already covered my disdain for these devices so I shall not say too much more. I just don’t want the expense and I don’t really need one. So why bother?

I’m not overly concerned whether or not I have a girlfriend. This is not to say if the right woman would happen along that I would resist. Nothing could be farther from the truth. But I don’t actively seek out relationships. I’m just not that worried about it. If it happens it happens. If the right cute red-haired girl (I’m weak for the cute redheads) came along I’m sure I could fall for her. But I just don’t sit around worrying about when I’m going to find dates.

I don’t watch a lot of TV or movies. Let’s be honest most of what Hollywood is cranking out sucks. So why bother? I prefer reading and music. I prefer a good night under the clear starry sky. I prefer a good meal with someone who can carry on a decent conversation. This isn’t to say I hate all TV or movies but I just don’t go out of my way to see a lot of it. When I do watch TV or sit through a movie I’m usually bored silly. I’m weird like that.

Until next time cyber land.