Friday, November 25, 2005

Happy Black Friday everybody! Then again, should you really be happy on something called Black Friday? Hell I didn’t even know until this week that Black Friday was coming. When did it start? Who started it? Why did they want an extra special day called Black Friday? That seems kind of like a day you might want to avoid.

It was explained to me that this whole Black Friday has to do with shopping. I looked for a definitive explanation and got very little. Employees of large stores who more than likely really don’t enjoy having 8 million people stampede their store on the day after Thanksgiving at 5 in the blessed A.M. probably named it. In fact some large retail executives call it Green Friday. Because the money grubbing pigs who sit in their corner offices counting hundred dollar bills are probably rather fond of this day. While I would guess that the grunts on the store floors getting chewed out for the fiftieth time that they’re out of some toy are not so fond of it.

I’m not anti-shopping or anti-Christmas. It’s just that I wish everyone would chill out about the whole gift thing. Yes I enjoy receiving a nice gift. Yes I enjoy giving a nice gift. But people relax! People spend like it makes up for being miserable assholes the rest of the year. Trust me it doesn’t.

A nice lady on the news called this the shopping season. Screw winter, Christmas season and the Holiday season. It’s the shopping season. Go out and buy you obedient consumers you. Because it’s all about how much you give and even more so how much you get.

Ever been in a gift exchange and there’s a MINIMUM on the amount you have to spend? Yes people have minimums to spend on Christmas. You see it’s not the thought that counts it’s the receipts. Gee, that well though out gift only cost $12.50? Well get your ass back to the store and spend another $7.50! There’s a $20.00 minimum!

Has no one ever read How the Grinch Stole Christmas? Or even watched the cartoon? Don’t you people learn? “Maybe Christmas meant just a little bit more.” Does that ring any bells for anyone?

I hate to sound so bitchy. Honestly I do. But it’s just that a holiday that’s supposed to be all about peace on Earth and good will towards men has become a crass capitalist event. Somehow I don’t think Jesus was born to benefit retailers.

Maybe I’m nuts but I’d like to try Christmas one year without the whole gifts thing. Everyone just chills out for a year and has a day where everyone just shares a little of the peace and good will thing. Or maybe they could just buy gifts for people that need things. You know charity and all that good stuff. As usual I fear I’m a lonely dreamer on this one.


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