Monday, May 08, 2006

Sweet Home Alabama!

No I’m not from Alabama. I have no intentions of moving to Alabama. But I must say I do have one reason for wanting to live there. I want to vote for Loretta Nall for governor.

If you’re not familiar with Loretta Nall’s campaign allow me to fill in some blanks. Ms. Nall is a Libertarian. Ms. Nall sees little separation between the Democrats and the Republicans. Ms. Nall is for legalizing marijuana. Ms. Nall is opposed to the Iraq War and the Patriot Act. Ms. Nall is for ending the “War on Drugs”. Ms. Nall is for prison reform. Ms. Nall is for ballot reform to allow third party candidates easier access to state ballots. Ms. Nall wants to naturalize all the illegal immigrants so they can become productive citizens. Ms. Nall rocks my freakin’ socks.

Unfortunately Ms. Nall has not received national media attention because of her fascinating platform. She has received national media attention because if you donate to her campaign you can watch a Flash animation of her strip. You see Ms. Nall is a fairly attractive woman who is said to have large breasts and does not wear panties. I can confirm neither, but she denies neither so I’ll just believe her. I must say I like the idea of a candidate with a sense of humor. Of course if she got naked for real she’d probably win the election in a landslide, but I digress.

Anyway let me comment on some of the planks of her platform that I particularly agree with. Though I must admit I could very little to disagree with her.

There is little if any separation between the Democrats and the Republicans. Let’s take the issue of immigration. The Republicans will say, “Let’s round up all the illegals and ship ‘em back to Mexico. Then we’ll build a wall with a moat in front of it. And we’ll fill that moat worth alligators. Yeah! I like alligators.” The Democrats will counter with, “Let’s ship all the illegals back to Mexico. Then we can build a big electric fence.” Wow! There’s some separation there. We need some diversity in our political structure. We need some outsiders to come in and shake this system up. Let’s own up to the fact that the same few dozen corporations own most politicians. We need some fresh faces and new blood.

She has the right idea on immigration as well. We should make the people that have been here for long periods of time citizens. The vast majority of these immigrants are hard working decent people. So I say let them into this country and let them pay taxes and not have to live in fear of being deported. The whole fence along our border idea with Mexico is asinine as well. Entering this country and crossing the rivers and deserts or being stuffed in the back of a semi trailer is already a life or death proposition. You think a fence will stop them?

Let me state I have never smoked marijuana. I hate the smell and high people are annoying. That being said I think marijuana should be legal. I adhere to the Harm Principle quite emphatically when it comes to laws. For those of you know familiar with the Harm Principle allow me to explain. In John Stuart Mill’s On Liberty he outlined what he called the Harm Principle. It can summarized in this sentence, “That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilised community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others.” See isn’t that simple? I couldn’t care less if someone lies around the house all day smoking a lobotomy for himself. If all he’s hurting is himself it’s not the government’s business to intrude. If his family decides he needs tough love or rehab, so be it. It’s a family matter anyway. The government should keep it’s nose elsewhere.

Loretta Nall also makes a good point that we preach to kids how they should stay off drugs but then as soon as they act up we ship them off to the pharmacy. Does the word hypocrisy mean anything anymore? When I was a substitute teacher I noticed it seemed as if about a quarter of the kids were on something their doctor ordered them to take. I live in fear we’ve cured the next Picasso or Da Vinci with all this medication to get these poor kids in a mood their teachers and principals and parents approve of.

I wish there were a bunch more candidates like Loretta Nall. I get bored with all the “cookie cutter” candidates I must endure. I would love to see more honest opinions in our candidates. I would love to see less catering to what might get you elected and more devotion to being honest.

Vote for Nall Y’all indeed.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

just wanted to add a little something about nall- her wit is not only sharp but can bite, too! i love her.
she started the 'strip campaign' after a columnist CHOSE a particularly buxom photo of her for his article, and then proceeded to lambast her for showing her cleavage.

here was her WONDERFUL response:

Letter to Bob Martin and Bob Ingram

I sent the following letter to both Bob's who partook in the tacky stunt of discussing my breasts in public.

Dear Mr. Martin,

Earlier this week it came to my attention that you had supplied a photo of me for use in Mr. Bob Ingram's column. While I missed the first column I happened to catch the second one containing Mr. Ingrams apparent surprise at discovering the fact that I have breasts. GASP!

"Allow me to express a personal note of appreciation to Bob Martin, the editor of this newspaper, for finding a picture of gubernatorial
candidate Loretta Nall to run with my column last week. I am sure it attracted a lot of readers.
In 55 years of political writing, that was a first for me—-a picture in my column of a woman displaying cleavage. I can only hope that my mother...and I know for a fact where she ended in the after life...didn’t see that column. She wouldn’t have approved of that picture."

It was quite shocking to me to see my breasts being discussed in the context of my gubernatorial election campaign and by a highly respected political columnist.
Why, I'm even thinking of changing my campaign slogan to "Less Bob....More Boob!"

I stopped by your office yesterday morning in hopes of discussing this matter with you in person but you were not in yet. I purchased a copy of the paper to see what all the uproar was about and discovered the photo you had used was from at least two years ago and on a website that has nothing to do with my campaign.

While I am in no way ashamed of the photo, a little cleavage never hurt anyone after all, I have to question your decisions of not contacting me for a photo and using information from a website other than my campaign website, which is located at .

I also question why you chose that particular photo out of about 200 available on the internet, many of which were more suitable for the political nature of the article in which the photo appeared. It doesn't seem to be a decision that a person of your journalistic credibility and background would make.

On the up side, my web traffic has been through the roof....I guess nothing drives people to website quite like a shot at seeing some high profile boobies. If nothing else, you have secured me the "horny guy" vote that exists among your readers.

I left a phone message with Mr. Ingram to discuss the column with me but he has not called back. He might be tough with a pen and paper but apparently he is no match for a set of boobs.

I'd like the opportunity to dispel the myth being perpetuated in the media that I am a one issue candidate and that my campaign, as Mr. Ingram so ignorantly opined, is merely for fun. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is very little that is fun about opening your entire life to the public for a fine-tooth-comb inspection. I wonder if either of you have ever dared the same undertaking?

While Mr. Ingram seemed to imply that my campaign is whimsical and self-indulgent, Alabama's current prison crisis says otherwise. It is an issue that makes headlines almost daily and negatively affects tens of thousands of Alabamians. Everyone in the state knows this and trying to diminish the seriousness of my campaign by showing my cleavage is tacky, disrespectful and more of a bad mark against your journalistic credibility than the credibility of my campaign. At the very least, you both owe to your readers the facts that I never sent you that photo and you never asked me if it was ok to use it nor did you request another one. You should also apologize to your female readers for engaging in such a sexist stunt.

I'd like to extend the following invitation to both of you.
Now that you and the rest of Alabama have been introduced to "the twins" perhaps you'd like to meet the rest of me.
I'll don my Burka, so y'all won't be distracted, and perhaps we can discuss the other planks in my platform, since Mr. Ingram saw fit to only discuss one.

Feel free to print my letter and also pass it along to Mr. Ingram as I have been unable to locate anything other than a phone number for him. I hope to hear from both of you very soon and I hope that you both appreciate that thus far I have maintained my sense of humor about this incident. Here's hoping you will both be gentlemen and do the right thing.

In Liberty,
Loretta Nall
Vote Nall Y'all...It's Just Common Sense

6:08 AM  

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