Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I don’t know how many people that read my blog are old enough to remember the show, Growing Pains. If you do then you will remember Kirk Cameron, who played the oldest son Mike. Well Kirk Cameron is no longer in sitcoms. It seems Kirk has gone off and started a church. Kirk and Ray Comfort (I must know if that is his real name) have founded The Way of the Master. That would make for such a kick-ass kung fu movie title. Alas gentle reader it is the name of a church.

Anyway, The Way of the Master has about a million free videos you can get off of Google Video. One of them concerns atheism. If you watch that video pay extra close attention to learn what is an atheist worst enemy. If you lack the patience for such things I shall inform you. It is the banana. Yes gentle reader the humble banana is the nemesis of all that is atheism. It’s not faith or hope or love. It’s a banana.

How is the banana an atheist’s kryptonite? Well you see it fits our hand perfectly. It also is easy to peel. It has a non-slip surface for gripping the banana. It’s easily digested. When you open the contents don’t squirt in your eye. It’s curved shape makes eating it easier. The color of its flesh tells you whether it’s ripe, under ripe or over ripe. Wow! Those twelve years of religion classes at St. Wendelin were worthless. I could have gotten all the faith I need from one minute of video about a banana.

I’m kidding of course.

You see friends, what Ray and Kirk did was anti-science, if I may coin a phrase. To understand what anti-science is you must first understand the scientific method. As any attentive eighth-grader can tell you, the scientific method relies on observation and experimentation to draw your conclusions. You must first find the facts then formulate your conclusions based on those facts. It just makes good sense. What Ray and Kirk did was have a conclusion and then look for things that support it. Kind of like what the Bush administration did in Iraq, but I digress.

If you try and follow their logic it all gets messy really fast. So since a banana is so healthy and convenient what about food that’s less so? Let’s take a watermelon. I mean sure they’re delicious, but they’re high in sugar and a pain to slice up and you got to spit seeds and it's sloppy to eat. So then are watermelons a sign God doesn’t exist? Maybe the Devil made them. They are red on the inside after all.

Also here’s another fun fact the banana is actually a product of years of human intervention. Bananas are so domesticated that the plants are sterile and therefore need human intervention to reproduce. That seems hardly like God’s gift to humanity.

I bring this up not to mock other religions. Though I do find the Way of the Master a bit odd to say the least, but that’s another essay. I bring it up to try and point out how people use so-called logic to fool people. The banana as proof of God is laughable at best. Yet they are those out there that will swallow it whole. Fortunately the Way of the Master seems fairly benign. It’s when people believe illogical things that make them do irrational things that trouble starts. Look at Al-Qaeda or Janjaweed or the people that bomb abortion clinics or any of the other radical groups killing in the name of God or Allah.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”



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