Monday, March 06, 2006

I know a lot of people think that aliens visit our planet. I tend to be skeptical. But if they did I think we should have a little plaque on the Moon just to greet them. We got to make sure they know what they’re getting themselves in to. I think it should go a little something like this.

Welcome to Earth!

We’re the third rock from the Sun and one of nine, eight or fourteen planets, depending on whom you believe. We’re wet and warm and getting warmer. Whether or not this warming is natural depends on whom you believe. We’re either the favorite children of our Creator or random cosmic serendipity, depending on whom you believe. One of the nations on this planet is truly head and shoulders above all others. Which nation it is depends on whom you believe. There are nations of nothing but evil people. Which nations these are depends on whom you believe. There is one true path to happiness. Where that path is depends on whom you believe.

As you can see we have a lot of beliefs. We are rather fond of them. We are so fond of them that we have been known to kill people who believe differently. I guess proving them wrong isn’t enough.

We have had some tremendous examples of how to live. People like Jesus and Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi and Thomas Paine have tried to show us the ways of peace, justice and equality for all people. We didn’t listen really well though. The first three were killed and the last one died ostracized. I guess some people believed someone else.

We are a planet of great diversity. We have warriors and pacifists. We have addicts and the abstinent. We have people with no food and people who eat too much. We have sinners and saints. We have dogs with sweaters and homeless children. We have intellectuals and illiterates. We have people with gold plated toilets and people who have to pee behind a dumpster. Some days you a greeted with a glorious sunrise, other days it rains on your picnic. Sometimes diversity is better than others.

We’ve made a bit of a mess of this planet; you’ll have to excuse us. We’re just smart enough to make things work but not smart enough or brave enough to admit when those things are bad for us. Just don’t breathe the air or drink the water or sit too long in the sunshine or eat the food and you’ll be fine.

I hope you enjoy your stay on Earth, because not all Earthlings get to.


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